In my view it all fits together, no disagreeing necessary. If your experience is different than someone else, it is mostly because you are in different circumstances or using your equipment different. That is also the case for many other topics imo.
Most people like responsiveness. Beginners do, because its faster to correct (little mistakes). But at a certain point you might choose to progress in a certain style.
At that point it all comes down to: circumstances, what do you want to do and what is your level and style. Certain tricks are easier to do with an slow turning kite and others with a fast turner (or other characteristics). Although there is a lot of overlap in the style of Dimitri and Toby, their kites will limit what they can do. Dimitri with his more dynamic style and Toby's style is more hangtime orientated. When Toby says you can progress faster and saver with slow kites, he is mainly talking about airstyle ( although slow is also good for your first backroll, as said). Toby has progressed his style, focused on hangtime and wants to pay as little as possible attention to bar handling. Especially when you choose to go for tricks with long hangtime and often with one hand holding the bar down, it will be a lot easier when your kite is not too quick to fly forward again. Learning Dimitri's style definitely involves more risk, more beatings (you have to be a little nuts I guess (;). I am 57 and a bit more careful and found Toby's advise very useful. I am still progressing. Here is a link to see my style and what I like to do. This Part 2 is done with sonic15 and speed5 12m and part 1 is mainly tubes 11 and 18m, you can see the differences.