Hi
Really nice thread indeed...
I have a wife (married for six years) and three kids. Ever been on a beach with three small kids (ages 1, 3 and 6)? Not quite relaxing... So taking wife and kids to the beach and letting your wife take care of the kids while you kite is not an option.
Also, my wife takes care of our kids at home. So when I come home from work the last thing she would like to do would be to stay still few hours with the kids while I go kiting. So can't do much evening kiting. Last winter, when there was full moon, we went a couple of times snowkiting at night after 10pm.
On weekends then.. Well, that's what she waits for the whole week - to be with me and our kids. And of course she wants me to be with my kids as well. So if I go somewhere and take a kid, two or all of them with me, then no problem. But if I want to go somewhere alone, without kids, (like going kiting) that is a problem - she gets an impression that I don't want to be with my kids - or with her. I've done it a couple of times, but since there are not really good spots near where I live, a short kiting session always takes from four to five hours. It's almost as long as a working day. So for her, it is then not a weekend anymore, it's another working day since she is doing just the same thing she does every working day...
As my wife spends so much time at home with the kids, she doesn't have many friends. Also her mother, even though she lives only few kms from us, is quite selfish woman and doesn't give a hand to help her during weeks.
It's been over month since I've been kiting...
On winter it was easier, could go kiting on lunch hours since getting ready for snowkiting is so fast, drive to nearest beach from your work - which takes five minutes - get your stuff out from the car, walk to the ice, set up your foil kite and go! As I worked through four lunch hours in a week, I could take one 2 anda half hours lunch hour once a week... But for kitesurfing 2,5 hours is not enough.
Working solutions this far: not many. But if I give _enough_ attention to my wife and specially to my kids during week and on no-wind weekends my chances to go kiting when it blows are much greater. Johnny's advice of 'treating her like a princess' is the way to go, really. But I have to give extra attention to my whole family, including kids too. Of course I have to arrange some time to spend just with my wife - it is important even though I wasn't kiting.
Also, I've tried to "set up" occasions where my wife could meet new people. Specially other women with kids and who are preferrably also taking care of the kids at home. Then they can meet during week and help each other. That way the weeks won't become so heavy for my wife and it's easier to get some free time on weekends.
Next Monday we're going to have a vacation at Cyprus. Me, my wife and our youngest kid. Our oldest kid is going fishing with my father on his summer home. And our three year old is going to my wife's mother for the week. It will be a great time with just one kid and my wife. We will have plenty of time for us two. But I will also go kiting during our vacation, but only couple of times. I already promised her that I'll only go for two sessions. It's not much, but it's at least something!
Summa summarum.. You can't have it all - happy wife, happy kids, happy boss and plenty of time for kiting. When focusing on some of those, others will always suffer. Life is constant balancing and trying to find the perfect formula to keep everybody happy.
This is because I want to have my wife who I love very much. I want to have my kids who I love very much. I want to have my job not because I love it but to get money to support my family and my kiting. And I want to kite which I love very much. To have them all there's a price to pay. And I'm willing to pay the price.
Also I keep my sight focused in the future. It won't be long until the kids grow older and don't require as much care as now. My wife will eventually return to work (which will then bring new problems in this soup). Eventually I will for sure have more time for kiting. But when that happens I don't want to feel sorry for not have been with my kids when they were young or feel sorry because my wife has divorced. I still want to have this all at that time.
_____
Lenze
!!!
but for her you smile ,cheer her up, und go finding the holes in the tube for the next 6 hours of perfect wind to be ready when the wind dies......